


Chronicles of a Centaur in Space

by EboniObsydian



Series: Myths in a Space Castle [2]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Gen, Lances' journal basically, he is very candid about what he writes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-24
Updated: 2019-01-15
Packaged: 2019-03-23 04:01:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 7,021
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13779234
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EboniObsydian/pseuds/EboniObsydian
Summary: To help cope with transforming into a centaur in the middle of space, Lance keeps a daily journal. These are some of his thoughts.This heavily ties in with "Why it sucks to be a snake in space". You don't have to read it but, the story might help make better sense of this one.Find me on tumblr!@bucketoffudgeinamuffin





	1. The Blue Paladin of Voltron, Lance’s log: [Text Entry] Day One

**Author's Note:**

  * For [polarspaz](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=polarspaz).



> this work is not betaed.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lance reflects on T-day.
> 
> This first entry ties into the first chapter of "Why it sucks to be a snake in space."

~~Dear Diary…~~

No, that’s dumb.

~~Dear Journal…~~

Still dumb.

Stardate….. I have no idea.

~~Captain’s log~~

I’m not a captain.

The Blue Paladin of Voltron, Lance’s log...

Yeah, this has a nice sound to it!

 **The Blue Paladin of Voltron, Lance’s log:** [Text Entry] Day One.

Today has to be a Monday because bad stuff almost always happens on Mondays. I don’t judge, just saying it like it is. Anyways, the castleship picked up some distress signal that led us to some strange planet that neither Allura nor Coran has ever seen before, not that surprising because they’ve been asleep for 10,000 years but I digress. Anyways, planet; distress signal; strange vibes everywhere. Allura the altruistic insists that we drop planetside to see who is giving off the signal. Atmo is very very sketchy, grey clouds thick as fog with sprites flashing between them. The castleship starts to vibrate, then shake. And then alarms start going off and we’re jostling about like beans in a maraca!

Okay, that’s a bit of an exaggeration because we were still able to stand on our feet, barely. I’m pretty sure though that our stabilizers went out and sent us into a nose dive towards the surface, except there was no dirt or ocean or anything! Just this bright light surrounded by grey sparkly clouds and the closer we got to it, the more intense it became. Allura tried to pull out of the dive and just when we figured that she did, I felt like I’d grabbed hold of a ground wire like my life depended on it -don’t ask how I know what it feels like to touch a ground wire. I don’t know what the others felt but it was apparent that we had all felt something in the same instant. It made my vision blur or blackout, I can’t remember, and suddenly I’m falling on the ground with four horse legs that don’t work! Yeah!

And I’m not the only one who changed. Hothead Keith is suddenly a reptile, Pidge has snakes for hair, Hunk’s got boar tusks and a bad case of monkey hair, and Shiro is a bonafide dragon! Why couldn’t I be a cool dragon?

Some stuff happens, we get away from the crazy not-planet but no one has a clue what just happened. Hunk and Keith had to help me sit up on these new four horse legs and then when we decided to move to the lounge, it was slow going. Both of them had to alternate between tapping each one of my legs in a sequence so I could feel them and figure out which one to move. It took ages to get there! And then Hunk pulled half the cushions off the couch so I could have something soft to lay on.

Coran and Pidge instantly went nerd and talked about the associated myths that we’re suddenly manifestations of. She could only supply so much information though as apparently mythology is not a major interest of hers or a strong point. Hunk knows some stuff to pitch in here and there but, altogether, it’s pretty bad. Coran seemed happy with what little info he got from them though. Keith was pretty much stoic since we switched rooms, voicing his concern about how to get Shiro off the bridge since he won’t fit through the doors anymore. And then speak of the devil, the man walks through the doors looking like a half-dragon, half-human hybrid! But hothead Keith fell asleep before that because he’s a snake, so I warmed him up with my body heat and he got all offended! Only after Shiro repeated what I just explained did he calm down. At least he had enough decency to say thank you.

Hunk had thrown together some rubber slipper things to help me get a better purchase on the slick floors and walk a bit faster. It still took him and Pidge to help me coordinate my legs to get to the dining hall for dinner. Food goo wasn’t that favorable before and now it’s become really unfavorable. Keith and Pidge tossed what little they could swallow back up and I swear I ate enough for five grown men! Maybe more! Shiro, probably for the best, didn’t try and eat anything. Hunk ate four plates.

Anyway, after dinner and some light conversation, a.k.a. planning, Allura suggested we sleep for the night. Hunk and Keith once again had to help me walk, Keith helping because his room is down the hall from mine. Once I got to my room, Keith left for his and Hunk immediately offered to stay with me for the night. He’s off collecting pillows to put under my knees while I record this. I have no idea how I’m going to sleep tonight since I obviously don’t fit on my mattress. I offered it to Hunk anyways. I guess I’ll try sleeping upright as if I’m sitting in a chair. I don’t know. It’s definitely going to be a long night.

Oh! Hunk’s back. This is Lance, signing off!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you like this, please leave a comment or some kudos. Both is even better. I'm trying to gauge whether or not this side story is worth continuing.
> 
> And I do love some constructive criticism.


	2. The Blue Paladin of Voltron, Lance's log: [Text Entry] Day Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lance writes about something very serious.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter/entry ties in after chapter one but before chapter two of "Why it sucks to be a snake in space".
> 
> Chapter is not betaed.

I need to talk about something super important. So important in fact that the first world individual needs to use it several times a day. There’s different styles and all but they all perform the same function.

I need to talk about toilets.

Strange topic, yes, but very important.

First, exhibit A: The Garrison Toilet. Supposedly the best example of modern porcelain thrones designed for high traffic public places. High-end water conservation and premium disposal system not prone to unwanted backups, unless you’re a senior mechanical engineer out to cause mischief.

Exhibit B: The Altean Toilet. A more homely design with the notable lid that’s missing on all Garrison toilets. Oddly though, there is no water in the bowl as would be expected. And as far as I can tell, there’s no U-bend either; there is a little slide that covers the exit port though. And yet, it does the job! There must be a sensor somewhere that knows when you’re done with your business because when you’re done redressing yourself it flushes. And it doesn’t use water but some other liquid that is blue. Yeah, yeah, I know. Toilets back home have blue water but it still smells like water and cleaner. This stuff doesn’t.

What’s the point of this? Well, both exhibits were designed for persons with two legs; bipeds. See where I’m going with this? Altean toilets are not designed to accommodate people with horse ends!

Long story short, I had to go. And because I’m not human at the present time, I can’t just cross my legs and hold it until a more convenient time. Totally not used to how this horse half works, I figure I’d better answer the call as soon as possible before I end up with two messes to clean up, one being obvious and the second one is the shattered remains of my dignity. Without waking Hunk up I somehow managed to stand up by myself and stagger out of my room like an intoxicated horse -I’m not exactly walking on just two legs so I can’t compare myself to a human anymore- and make it down to a bathroom that has more available space to maneuver in than the standard Paladin Bathroom. It was not an adventure I care to relate, trying to figure out how to use said toilet when I can barely see what I’m doing, let alone coordinate myself. Miraculously I didn’t make a mess. However, what is supposed to take the regular Joe maybe three doboshes to complete, I swear it took me twelve or thirteen! Hnnggh.

I hope Allura and Coran figure out a way to reverse this soon because this alone is probably going to be the death of me.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments and kudos are much appreciated!
> 
> And I do love some constructive criticism.


	3. The Blue Paladin of Voltron, Lance’s log: [Audio Entry] Day Three

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lance is embarrassed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For those who don't like natural body functions in fics, skip this chapter.
> 
> This entry precedes chapter two of "Why it sucks to be a snake in space".

Shoot… shoot, shoot, shoot! Crap! Cccrrraaaaappppp!

The Fates hate me. If that is the world that I have found myself in, existing as a myth right here and now, they hate me.

I- I just cut one… in front of Allura!

It’s all fine and dandy when I can control when and where I pass gas. And no biggie in front of a group of guys as a joke -well, I thought Pidge was a guy at the time. But in front of a girl, and a princess no less! Aurgh! Kill me now!

We were all on the bridge en route to this planet, Ueclave, for a hunter/gatherer supply run for foodstuffs that Hunk can use to supplement meals with, especially for Keith and Pidge, making plans. We were all standing around the center projector since Coran was talking about distances and what life was like on the planet, what to expect, that sort of stuff, when I felt it. I tried to hold it, I really did. But Coran just kept rambling and I didn’t want to be rude. I should have spoken up sooner than I did, maybe then I would have saved myself from this horrible situation. When I finally did, the tick that it took me to turn around and head off the bridge, I lost it. Something about just the movement of my legs set it into motion. And in my utter embarrassment, I stumbled over myself trying to run out the door!

I’m hiding in my room. We have three or so vargas before landing planetside. Maybe they’ll all forget by that time?

It’s the food goo. It’s got to be the food goo. 90% of what I’ve eaten since this happened is food goo.

I thought I was in the safe zone.

Uh-oh. Hunk’s knocking on my door. Go away, Hunk! I’m fine! Yes, yes I’m sure!

Yeah, he’s not buying it. Better let him in.  
[Entry end]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for continuing to read this. I hope I didn't scare you off with some flatulence.
> 
> Constructive criticism is appreciated. So are kudos.


	4. The Blue Paladin of Voltron, Lance’s log: [Text Entry] Day Four

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lance writes about girl problems.
> 
> This entry ties into chapter 10 of "Why it sucks to be a snake in space".

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter is not betaed.

Today is starting off really sucky.

First off, Keith tried to bite me. All I was trying to do was help the guy warm up but the dude is cranky as ever when someone touches him in his sleep. The way he was acting though he obviously ate something that disagreed with him, probably that lizard critter he scarfed down without a second thought. I did see him up and about probably fifteen doboshes ago, albeit wrapped in that alien electric blanket I got for him in the middle of the night. Wasn’t in the mood to talk though because I had a horrible experience with Kaltenecker.

She’s upset.

Over what, I still can’t figure it out.

Well, I haven’t been down to see her since gaining two extra legs and nearly two extra feet in height. I swear that when she saw me she gave me a dirty look. I figured at first that it was because I hadn’t visited her in a few days. I changed my mind after trying to milk her. She got very vocal at me when I sat.. knelt… got down only to find I couldn’t reach her udder. The extra height is a big problem. She walked away from me then. So I got up and tried again, getting down a bit further so I could lean forward and try and milk her that way; killer burn on the abs there but it didn’t last long because before I could even touch her udder she was walking away from me again.

I got the idea to try and get her to stand on something to elevate her to a point where I could reach her udder. She wouldn’t have any of it. The only thing that was nearby that I thought would work was that hover disk that she came with when we got her; she would not go back on that thing and I really can’t blame her. After trying several times to get her to step on it, pulling on a lead and pushing on her from behind, she finally had enough and charged me!

Well, I can’t fault her for that either.

When she finally had enough or felt she had proved her point, she went back to eating, but not before kicking the milk bucket over.

Maybe she’ll let Hunk milk her. I know Pidge won’t go near her and Keith would probably scare her to death.

Third thing, after I got to my room and put on a relaxing mask, Allura comes to my door with these super expensive alien boar bristle brushes and just gives them to me! She says that they don’t work for her hair and thought they would for me. Seriously though, these things and the box they’re in are obviously super super expensive, definitely fit for royalty. I feel obligated to give her something close to equal value in return but I have never ever had in my possession that sort of money to come even close!

To top it off, she even offered to show me how to use them! No one has brushed my hair for me since I was a kid! I was going to as Hunk to help me brush out my mane -why do I even have a mane, I don’t know of any centaur ever that has had a mane- sometime today or tomorrow and Allura just flat out offers to! And I said yes!

What am I gonna do, what am I gonna do? What am I gonna do!

Hunk’s knocking at my door. He’s probably worried about me again. I’m going to give the guy an ulcer one of these days.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for the kudos and the bookmarks!
> 
> Read something that you liked? Please leave a comment.  
> I love and appreciate constructive criticism if you've got any.


	5. The Blue Paladin of Voltron, Lance’s log: [Text Entry] Day Four, Entry 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> An add-on to the previous entry because Lance has more to say, including a secret you must promise not to tell.
> 
> Entry ties in with chapters 12 & 13 of "Why it sucks to be a snake in space"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter is not betaed.

Today was just a bad day. Well, it was good and bad.

Good part first. Allura decided that soccer was a good training method to help us adapt to our new bodies. Space soccer!

At first, I was super thrilled because I played a lot back home. But then I found that horse legs don’t have the same range of motion that human legs do so it was a major downer. Eventually, though, I figured something out and was able to enjoy myself. Pidge though, Pidge was downright devious and totally unserious about the whole training period! Oh if any of my coaches had seen her they would be livid! I kinda felt sorry for Keith though. Not only has the guy never played, he doesn’t have legs to even play properly. Everyone should be able to enjoy soccer, even a hothead like him.

Bad news. Pidge took a soccer ball to the face. Broke her nose, cracked her skull and gave her a nasty concussion. Shiro was the culprit and the way he reacted afterward was intense. Full on instinct protective dragon mode! Wouldn’t let anyone near Pidge. It took some talking from Keith for Shiro to snap out of it enough for us to tend to Pidge. She’s in a pod right now and will be until some time in the middle of the night.

Learned something neat about Shiro though, well, his transformed human form. The guy has a thick dorsal stripe down his back aaaannnndddd… he’s got an outie! (That’s a secret that stays between me, Hunk and Keith, though. And whoever rudely decides to read this. Absolutely do not tell anyone else or I will find you and you don’t want me to find you.)

Hunk and I are setting up camp in the common room to watch weird Altean movies until we nod off. Keith and Shiro, I suppose, are going to stay down in the control room with Pidge. Shiro, it doesn’t surprise me considering how both concerned and guilty he feels and Keith doesn’t want to leave Shiro alone which is understandable. I wanted to jot this down before dinner since I have the time. I wonder what Hunk’s cooking up this time?

[Entry end]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for continuing to read
> 
> If you happen to have any, please leave some constructive criticism in a comment.
> 
> Also, if you feel like it, [leave a tip?](https://ko-fi.com/eboniobsydian)


	6. The Blue Paladin of Voltron, Lance’s log: [Audio Entry] Day Five

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's been a long day but, it's not over yet!
> 
> Entry ties in with chapters 14 - 17 of "Why it sucks to be a snake in space"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter is not betaed.

Long day. Right now I’m in a really fancy hotel room that’s made for the super ritzy high class, not in my room on the castleship, so I’m recording this using my phone.

You should see this place! The outside of the building is covered almost completely in greenery and the inside is major luxury! I would love to bring my family here! This room is huge, like maybe a fourth of my house huge! I’ve got a huge bed that would fit me - human me, not four-legged me - my siblings and my niece and nephew on it. I’m talking big cuddle pile! A balcony with a fantastic view, though not as great as Varadero Beach. There’s a couch, a table that I think is for private meals in the room because it’s got four chairs, a big armoire that I think would fit half my family’s wardrobe in. And the bathroom! Oh-ho, there is a giant spa tub in there that I think might be a swim spa! I don’t really know what one of those looks like in detail and anyway, I wouldn’t be able to use it even if it is one. There’s a walk-in shower that I can only half-fit in, another alien toilet that has some similarities with the toilets in the castleship, and a vanity that looks like it was molded from wood.

Anyway, the day started way early with an alarm that Pidge was going to be released from being podded. After getting her to change into her jammies, because Shiro apparently felt she needed to change into something clean as soon as she was released, we headed to the kitchen for a late night snack. I suggested camping out in the lounge again but Keith was a party pooper and slept in his room. Found out later that it was an instinct, but I’ll get to that in a bit.

After breakfast, Allura wanted us to work with the Lions. Gaining two extra legs and two feet in height has made it very difficult to get into Blue’s cockpit. Aaannnddd… I can’t use the chair. So not only do I have to hunch over to get in there, I have to sit belly down on the floor. Even worse, I can’t use the pedals because my horse legs just don’t work right. Shiro wanted to run a drill anyways against me being the voice of reason saying that it was a bad idea. Three times even! He insisted though, and when we tried forming Voltron, Keith got hurt. The guy got shaken around in his Lion like beans in a maraca! Luckily he came out of it with only bruises… big bruises… bruised ribs. After patching him up is when Hunk and I found out that he hadn’t been feeling well and had been fighting a powerful instinct to lay low. So my buddy, Pidge, and I built him a pillow fort to chill in.

Allura wanted to go to Olkarion. The trip took a while though, and Keith’s not the only one dealing with major instincts. I had been restless ever since we left Ueclave, I’m talking major MAJOR cabin fever, but there wasn’t a room that I felt was big enough in the castle to sait that feeling. So I hung out with Kalteneker. Shiro found me later and we had a little chat. Afterward, we did a couple rounds in the training room, me practicing hitting moving gladiators with my bayard while Shiro fought a couple one on one; he’s off his game since transforming.

After landing on Olkarion, I made sure that idiot Keith got some help finding someplace warm to rest. I hope that helped him feel better, the guy said he’s been cold a lot, and it shows because of how lethargic he’s been. He tries to hide it, the idiot.  
Moving on.

I found some Olkari kids in a huge public garden park. So while Allura and Shiro caught Ryner up to date, I played with them to help burn some of the restless energy that had been building up, and to keep their attention off of Pidge; apparently, the Olkari kids love the Green Lion. We played tag for a while and then I gave each of the five kids rides on my back after breaking up a fight. Alien kids it seems, are still kids.

So what brings me to be in this luxurious room? Ryner is having a formal dinner as a victory celebration of our big attack on Zarkon’s mothership, so I needed a place to clean up. Also, this is where I’ll be sleeping while the Olkari help us adjust Blue and the other Lions so we can get to piloting them safely. And they’re making new armor since the only one who hasn’t had any major changes is Hunk and therefore only Hunk can still use his armor as is. I’m waiting for my hair and mane to dry off as much as possible before putting on the clothes that Ryner requested the Paladins wear to the dinner.

This is Lance, the Blue Paladin, signing off!

[Entry end]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the last one that I have available right now. More won't be posted until further chapters of the main story are written and posted.
> 
> Do you like this little side story from Lance's point-of-view? Tell me in a comment.


	7. The Blue Paladin of Voltron, Lance’s log: [Audio Entry] Day Six

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lance is having a bad reaction to something he ate...
> 
> This one ties in with Chapter 19 of "Why it sucks to be a snake in space."

Last night’s dinner feast was great! Tasty food and plenty of it to eat!

But, evil loves to hide in plain sight. Definitely a wolf in sheep’s clothing.

See, my body has this thing against all fruits that have pits in them, like apricots. Doesn’t matter the size of the pit or the fruit. On Earth, I steer clear of the stuff as much as I can. Sometimes some of it sneaks by in a fruit tart or cake or even juice that I don’t even think to ask about. And then there have been a few times where to be polite, I’ve had to suck it up and eat the stuff.

Now, depending on how much I’ve eaten, the aftermath varies. If it’s just a taste, I can get by scott free. A mouthful usually leads to cramps. A small bowl, cramps and gas and being backed up for a day. More than that, it’s all three of the aforementioned plus the total flipside of being backed up. And there’s pain of course. It varies as well, depending on how much I’ve eaten, obviously increasing relative to the amount consumed.

Where am I going with this? There were space apricots and such that was served last night. Of course being space fruit, I had no idea what to look out for or that I would have this nasty reaction to them. And being half horse, and eating most of what was on Keith’s plate as well since he’s a pretty much strict carnivore, I ate a lot of food last night, likely half of it being fruit of some sort since the Olkari seem to be vegetarians, or mostly vegetarian. Some dinner guests were even gifting different foodstuffs that might have been the very evils themselves!

So I’m currently on the floor in the most pain I have ever been in. I’d dare say that getting blasted by not-Rover doesn’t even compare because I was knocked out by that. I can’t even sleep through this! Well, I probably could if I was knocked out with some medicine or something. But given the nature of the beast, it’s not a good idea to sleep for too long when my system is rebelling this bad.

I’ve called for Hunk. I was in bed before and barely had enough strength and energy to get up to use the intercom. Now, as I said earlier, I’m on the floor.

Besides my family, Hunk has been the only one who has seen me and helped me go through one of these episodes, so he knows how to help without needing to ask too many questions. Unfortunately, that episode happened to be at the Garrison and it was some jerk-faced punk who slipped something into my food during lunch. And unfortunately, everyone is expected to clear at least 90% of their plate at each meal, so even though I immediately tasted the fruit, I had no choice but to eat it.

Another unfortunate is that both Hunk and I missed a test the next day because he refused to leave me alone in the infirmary. He’s such a great friend. I’m so lucky to have him.

[Entry end]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you don't read "Why it sucks to be a snake in space", then you wouldn't have seen the notice.
> 
> My health took a nose-dive in March and it's still bad. ~~So all fics are going on hiatus while I recover to a point where I can confidently and regularly work on writing again.~~  
>  Chronicles is Back!
> 
> Thank you for reading.


	8. The Blue Paladin of Voltron, Lance’s log: [Text Entry] Day Seven

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> How did Lance spend his day?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> chapter is unbetaed.
> 
> Ties in with chapter 21 of Why it sucks to be a snake in space.

I’m all recovered from yesterday’s nasty ordeal and there was stuff to be done in the morning. Pidge and Hunk were eager to get off to their own projects with the help of the Olkari. But, me, honestly, I was putting off what I needed to do because I hate hospitals. Infirmaries too but those are more tolerable.

Mi abuela has been in and out of hospitals since I’ve known her. And every time she came home from one she always looked worse. Before I was born she had breast cancer. Abuela would talk about it frequently with mi mama and older siblings and I would overhear about how miserable her ordeal was and how she got worse and worse because of the chemotherapy. When I was older she suffered a stroke and had to be taken to the emergency room. After a week’s stay, she came back with a slur to her speech and I thought it was the hospital’s fault. Hospitals are also where people die because they are either seriously sick or seriously hurt. I’ve only been in one once and I hated the experience so much that to this day I don’t remember why I was there. I wouldn’t even go to meet my niece and nephew when they were born, something I still regret but hindsight is 20/20 as they say.

Anyway, Coran wanted new scans of everyone and to my luck, I wouldn’t fit on the Olkari table that their scanner went over so I had to wait while they debated amongst themselves about how to resolve the dilemma, in a thin hospital gown! As if being half naked all the time wasn’t bad enough, I’m pretty much naked with just a drape hanging around my neck and covering my chest! I don’t know how long I had been there by myself -Shiro had offered to come with me but I know that guy probably hates hospitals and medical environments more than I do- before Hunk came in to fulfill Coran’s request. He suggested that he get scanned first before they make adjustments. Their stupid hospital gowns don’t even fit him either! He was majorly exposed in the back, and unfortunately, Pidge came in at the wrong time and saw him. She was so embarrassed and so was he. So I suggested to wait outside in the hall -I had put my clothes back on, mind you. After he was done, she went in alone and threatened both me and Hunk with the unknown vengeance only she could think of should we enter while she was getting scanned. Not like we were going to intrude on her privacy anyways because, you know, she’s a girl, and we’re not that type of men to sneak a peek.

When I was finally able to get scanned, I couldn’t get out of that building fast enough. Hunk walked with me to another building where I actually got to have fun doing something that sounded boring; motion capture! I was decked out in these small little ping pong balls and got to have a bit of fun watching a line model of myself on a screen copy my movements! They had me do all sorts of stuff to test my range of motion, including running on a treadmill -well, jog because my gait during a full run was too big for their machine- and I think they tried to get me to do some dance moves.

After that, I played tourist. I was given a tablet with a map on it that was intended for such. Even for an alien map, I could recognize the symbols for shopping centers and restaurants. Unfortunately, I didn’t have any money so it was just basically window shopping. However! When I entered what appeared to be a hobby shop I found a large kit with all sorts of thread, some nice scissors, and a few needles in it, something I did not expect a metal crafting alien race to have. Dejected about not being able to buy it though, I made my way to leave when one of the employees stopped me; they had seen me eyeballing the kit. In exchange for it, they asked me to model for them! So for thirty or so doboshes I played model, and just at the last minute, at their request, I reared up on my hind legs for the first time since transforming -that took a few tries to pull off and I could only hold it for three ticsk- and they captured that look with their metal sculpture. I sure looked awesome! They stuck the 30cm sculpture in the display window and enthusiastically handed me the kit and some small samples of fabric in a thick cloth bag; I guess they don’t do paper or plastic.

After that surprise, I wandered around some more and found an outdoor food market. Everyone wanted me to sample their stuff and it wasn’t just Olkari; there were a few other races there that were likely traveling traders who had heard about the liberation of Olkarion. Most of them weren’t so insistent which was fine. Samples aren’t a decent meal though so I headed back towards the hotel for a late lunch. Ryner had made sure that accommodations for meals were arranged for our stay too. The whole celebrity treatment is amazing, but I still feel like I need to pay for some things like an honest person. Mama didn’t raise no freeloader.

I decided to leave my kit in my room before heading out again.

I went to a large garden and had myself a jog to relieve some restlessness. And while some alone time is nice, too much is depressing. I’m so used to being around family and people that being alone makes me feel cold inside. I found some more kids but they were obviously older and though they saw me, they just waved and continued with their game that looked like a cross between lacrosse and dodgeball. I watched for a while before getting so confused about the scoring system my head hurt.

Thinking of my niece, I decided to take pictures of some of the flowers that were in the gardens; she likes fairies and thinks that they make their homes in the flowers like Thumbelina. That occupied my time for a couple vargas before the low sun told me I should probably get back to the hotel to meet up with the others. Keith and Shiro arrived late but had found a honeycomb while on their outing and wanted to share with everyone so that was a sweet treat! Also, over dinner, Coran said he had everyone’s scans and wanted to go over them with us tomorrow. At least I don’t have to go back to the hospital to find out.

After dinner Hunk, Pidge and I played games on our phones for about two vargas before Hunk said he wanted to turn in. And Pidge, against what she was told, wanted to work on her progress with finding her family. So I’m making this entry about ten doboshes after they left.

Maybe I’ll bug Keith for another bottle of honey to keep for when we get back home so my family can taste it. It’s weird and different from Earth honey in that while it’s sweet, there’s a soft floral taste to it as well. And while Earth honey has a sharp aftertaste when eaten raw, this space honey has a calm smooth aftertaste.

[Entry End]


	9. The Blue Paladin of Voltron, Lance’s log: [Text Entry] Day Eight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lance talks about his experience in the engineering lab and a few other things.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Goes with chapter 22 of _Why it sucks to be a snake in space_
> 
> Chapter is unbetaed.
> 
> I only gave it a once over since writing it so it is very raw and so if there are typos and inconsistencies, kindly point them out.

Keith didn’t show up for breakfast which was… weird. But that feeling was short lived when crabby Pidge explained that her wing was asleep and that annoying pins-and-needles feeling was spreading all over her back.

The phantom ‘pains’ are real I tell you. Just the memory is making me squirm.

I went with Hunk after breakfast. He shooed me out of the testing lab where he was making prototypes of the new chairs. I was only slightly offended; I know the guy likes to surprise people with his projects when he makes them with specific individuals in mind.

I wasn’t left alone though. Small world, even on Olkarion. One of the other Olkari engineers in the development room who had been working on a different project recognized me as a Paladin. He got starstruck for several minutes, opening and closing his mouth trying to form words. It took his team member thumping him on the back for his mind to restart and we could start a conversation. Turns out he was part of the ground force team that had joined our raid to drive out the Galra while we fought the giant cube thing. He had only got a glimpse of me and the others but said that we had left a permanent impression on his memory. After that explanation, he eagerly showed me some of the new defense designs he and his team were working on. The schematics went over my head for the most part but I was able to understand a little when he described how the main weapon would work. He then switched to a rendering of what it would look like finished and I was able to understand a bit better.

I still have no idea how it works but it’s a giant ring that is some kind of laser that can break the atmosphere at ridiculous speeds to strike spacecraft. I.e., Galra cruisers.

Hyu~ These guys mean business.

The guy was about to go into detail about another side project when a message came that the others had arrived. So I took it upon myself to get them and we all went to the testing lab. Shiro’s chair fit like a glove. Unfortunately, the design Hunk had for me didn’t take into consideration that I can’t exactly climb onto a chair and scoot. He felt so guilty that it didn’t work out. Keith was able to get into his with some scooting but it was easy to see that if the arms worked a different way, he could slide in faster.

Coran then info dumped on us all the pertinent information that had been collected from the scans we had to go through. In short, those of us who now have bigger bodies have extra organs, or in the case of Keith, missing an organ, and aren’t getting enough to eat. To be honest, I’ve been eating until I’ve felt full so something else must be compensating for the lack of calories since T-day. That’s my theory anyway, I don’t know if the others are thinking the same thing. Also, Hunk burns on contact with sunlight and Pidge’s snakes are venomous nope ropes.

Speaking of Pidge, she finally found means to make a visor so she doesn’t have to stick with that blindfold. However, the stuff that she needs is out of stock in the lab so Hunk volunteered to go get it out of a mine somewhere where it’s cold so he could also find out if he has an instinct that is associated with being underground.

Smart move.

He’s heading out with a team of Olkari and Yellow tomorrow.

Before that, after lunch today I convinced him that his design is still good, it just had some extras. He understood after I told him what it was like trying to fly Blue as a centaur. So we went back to the lab and made adjustments and voila! I now have a safer piloting chair.

While Hunk is out playing in the caves, the Olkari will be working with Keith, Shiro and I and our Lions to begin installing the new chairs. I don’t think Blue will mind. She’s been sending me impressions about being concerned about my safety ever since Keith got hurt. I don’t know about Black or Red though. Red might put up a fight from what I know of her. Keith doesn’t exactly share details about how he and his Lion get along.

I’m going to take a jog around the garden again before dinner. I would get restless at times when I was human but it’s nothing compared to the jitters I get every day now.

[Entry end]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> These chapters are not usually written until the next 'day' in the main fic is completed. So updates are much slower.
> 
> Due to the upcoming holidays, I predict that the next entry won't be available until January or at the soonest, after Christmas.
> 
> Thank you for your patience in advance.


	10. The Blue Paladin of Voltron, Lance’s log: [Text Entry] Day Nine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lance briefly talks about the day.
> 
> This chapter is so rushed because I forgot to write a new entry. So it is obviously not betaed.
> 
> Ties in with chapter 23 of the main fic.

Stick a fork in me I am done. A done holiday dinner turkey, nice and stuffed and not going anywhere.

Just, please don’t seriously try to eat me. I’m still breathing thank you very much.

This one is going to be short.

Checked up on Pidge who got a beating yesterday while attempting to familiarize herself with her new self. She’s doing okay aside from the soreness. I brought her two mugs of space coffee to indulge on for putting up with that insane idea that Ryner had.

Blue was a real champ! As I predicted, Red and Black put up fights about the Olkari going to work so after talking with Blue, they eventually came around. Red was the last one. HA!

Actually, I probably shouldn’t say that. But, still… HA!

Strangely though, all three of us got feedback while the Olkari installed the new chairs. It was exhausting. I slept through half the day just to handle the nasty symptoms. And then, to make circumstances even weirder, I woke up feeling like I was _STARVING!_ When I met up with Keith and Shiro in the kitchen on the castleship, they were feeling the same. So I cooked up a bunch of mi abuela’s paella, although it was an improvised recipe and all given space, you know. And those two filled up on mostly raw meat. I still shudder at the thought. Keith did cook some but I understand their impatience. All three of us where basically being pestered and driven by the instinct to eat and do it as soon as possible.

Shiro was at least civil and ate a plate of paella with me.

We were all happily stuffed in the end, though I still don’t want to think about how much I ate… or how much meat those two ate…

I’m inside Blue right now getting ready to bunk down for whatever is left of the night. It… doesn’t feel right to not sleep near her. And I think Keith and Shiro feel the same with their Lions.

This is Lance, signing off.

[Entry End]


	11. The Blue Paladin of Voltron, Lance’s log: [Audio Entry] Day Ten

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lance can't sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter ties in with the final chapter of _Why it sucks to be a snake in space_

I… I just cheated death today. Not that I didn’t do that before getting two extra legs but this time… this time was different. And not because I’m a myth for a time undetermined.

I took Blue out for a fly around to get used to the new hand controls and then landed her in a wide open space to get in a good run and burn off some restless energy. When I finished and was walking back to Blue to cool down, because that’s what you’re supposed to do after some intense exercise, I got this chill down my spine, the whole spine, head to tail, and I couldn’t pin why I suddenly got that feeling. I looked around, really looked around because, you know, I fight Galra for a living now, but I didn’t see anything. Still, everything in every major muscle was screaming at me to get out of that area to somewhere safe, so I started going faster towards Blue.

She had just lowered her head to let me in when something huge attacked me from behind, latching onto my butt with huge paws that easily covered one side of me each. I went into fight mode somehow, not flight and I didn’t freeze up. I kicked and bucked and shook to get the thing off, but it sank its big claws into me. I don’t remember feeling any pain though. I don’t know how long the fight lasted either but I eventually landed a hard kick to the thing’s chest with my back leg, hard enough that it let go. The instant I felt the weight drop, I ran as hard as I could to Blue and dove into her mouth.

Somehow I got back to the castleship. I don’t remember much except finding Hunk just to prove to myself that I was alive.

Unfortunately, I trekked blood everywhere I went. Not much, just small drops marking my path. I did leave a little more than that in the lounge though and inside Blue.

I had eight puncture wounds of an impressive size that needed to be stitched up, each one needing four to five stitches. Unfortunately, Coran had to shave around each wound to keep them clear of debris before actually stitching them closed. So, I’m gonna look funny for a while. I’d rather look funny than be dead though.

Allura said that the Olkari are finished with our armor. The Blade of Marmora actually helped with the engineering so that’s neat. They were kind of rude about the reason why they helped though. We get to see the upgraded stuff tomorrow. I’m both excited and apprehensive for some reason.

Also, we finally found an answer to what transformed us; somehow we came into contact with another reality and got switched. I’ve heard of other dimensions and realities as fantasies and science fiction and really didn’t give them much thought. Guess I should have changed my mind earlier because I’m living proof of the weirdness. Unfortunately, Slav doesn’t know how to reverse the transformation. He said that our reality might try and correct the abnormality on its own but there’s no proof or indication of a time frame that such a thing would happen. So, all five of us are going to have to relearn how to fight the Galra as we are now.

Tomorrow is going to be a busy day. But, it’s already close to midnight Olkari time and I still can’t sleep because of that death encounter. I don’t even know what the thing looks like and I guess I really don’t want to know because that would probably make the memory worse.

Hopefully, tomorrow isn’t too intense…

[Entry End]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome to the end! Thank you for reading ♥

**Author's Note:**

> I started this little side story to "Why it sucks to be a snake in space" on my tumblr. After 17 chapters of the base story, I decided to test the waters with this side story.


End file.
